The days were fine. The nights were the problem.
I was with a girl for six months. I loved her more than I knew how to handle. Everything felt perfect, and I was attached like I was held by a chain.
She left me three times. The first time, she said she wanted to focus on herself, and I let her go. Then she came back and I was happy, but it wasn't the same, and she left again. I told myself I couldn't live without her, so we got back together. For a day or two it was good. Then she left me for the third time, and that one broke me.
That night I made a decision: never again.
What I did instead
I stopped going back through our memories. Every time I replayed them, I felt worse, so I made a rule: I don't go back.
I trained every night. It gave the pain somewhere to go, and it was the first thing that made me feel like I was moving forward.
I filled my mind with books and activities. When my head wanted to drift back to her, I gave it something else to do.
I said no when she asked to talk again. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and one of the best.
And I let one person in. I reconnected with a friend I had once hurt, and she was there for me when I needed it.
If the nights are hard for you too
Here is what I would try tonight:
- Put your phone in another room.
- Move for 15 minutes: push-ups, a walk, a run.
- Read ten pages of a book.
- Write one sentence: "It's over, and I'm still here."
It won't fix everything. But it can help you get through the night, and the next night is a little easier.
From nights to a plan
Today I'm in the best place of my life. I turned what helped me into a 30-day plan: one small action a day, an SOS page for the hard moments, and a tracker. It's called Unchained: How to Forget Her and Focus on Yourself.
Stay Unchained.
This article is for general self-help and is not medical or mental health advice. If you feel hopeless or think about hurting yourself, talk to someone you trust or a licensed professional. In the US, call or text 988.